NEW LIFE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
SENIOR NEWSLETTER
April 2009
………………………………...............................................
This Newsletter is published periodically and is aimed at keeping the senior population in our church informed of planned social activities. It is supplemented with an occasional sprinkle of humor and other “stuff” contributed by our seniors. Lou Hoekstra is the contact person.
………………………………...........................................................................
On March 3rd 17 hearty seniors and two others gathered at AIM in Clermont for more good food, lots of fellowship and to participate in a variety of programs. At this session John Barney and Dave Hornberger performed a brief but powerful skit (copied from Sowers at AIM), where John played Jesus at age 12 and Dave was the questioner. Following the skit, Carla Walker revealed her beautiful voice in song, accompanied by the talented Norma Barney on piano. As is NOT the custom at these gatherings, Lou had a senior moment and forgot to announce March birthdays, including Lois Olsen’s 92nd birthday on the 9th, Myra Korringa’s on the 17th (St. Patrick’s Day) and Dave Hornberger’s on the 23rd. The March gathering concluded with a very small video sampling of travel on the 1422-mile Alaska Highway, which was built in 1942 by the U.S. military (after Japan’s attack on Hawaii and Alaska) and is located mostly in British Columbia and Yukon territory in Canada. (ALCAN)
………………………………...........................................................................
SHOW AND TELL. OUR FINAL GATHERING FOR THE SEASON will be on Tuesday, April 7th at NOON in the Rodeo Room at Buffalo’s restaurant in Clermont. (The owner promised better service this time). At this session we are asking for our seniors to bring something smaller than a breadbox to “show and tell” in a 2-3 minute presentation. Example: Alice and Lou will bring a small vase made from Mount St. Helens volcanic ash or perhaps some unique refrigerator magnets. NO! You can’t use your spouse as an object for “show and tell”, unless he/she is smaller than a breadbox.
………………………………...........................................................................
Mark Twain: “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened”. (Thanks, Myra)
More Mark Twain: “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself”.
Will Rogers: “I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts”.
Did you hear about the 75-year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?
Perks of being over 50: (Thanks, Lois Olsen)
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
People call at 9 PM and ask, did I wake you?
No one expects you to run - anywhere.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember
them either.
What a difference a century makes! Here are some statistics from 1909: (Thanks,Lois)
The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 MPH.
The average wage was 22 cents per hour.
Only 6 percent of Americans graduated from high school.
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO college education.
A little humor: A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments, everything was silent in the cab and then the driver said, “Please don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me”. The passenger, also frightened, apologized and said he didn’t realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, “I’m sorry. It’s really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. For the last 25 years, I’ve been driving a hearse”.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw in later life what you deposited along the way. (Thanks Ria/Dick Treur)
PUNS (by Dick Jarvis):
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, “You stay here. I’ll go on a-head”.
Other stuff:
Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord”, and then there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning”.
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a sign that said “Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust”.
A concluding thought: THE WILL OF GOD WILL NEVER TAKE YOU WHERE THE GRACE OF GOD WILL NOT PROTECT YOU.